Worse Than Christmas Eve.

Ok. Here we go post #2.

Soo... This summer after I submitted my papers I was terrified that I would get my call during the 2nd week of July, the week I would be at GIRL'S CAMP.

I was called to be Assistant Camp Director because for some reason, when you put in your mission papers everyone seems to think you're the bee's knees. So that calling in and of itself was huuuuuuge and I was already way stressed out by the fact that I had so much to do and so little time, and then there was the small chance that my mission call would come that week. AHH I was freaking out a bit.

But because Heavenly Father knows us and He never forgets us in our moments of need, I got my call about a week and a half after submitting my papers, July 6th, 2011.

To be honest, the experience was kind of surreal. I remember going home for my lunch break like usual and then checking the mail to see if I'd gotten any letters from my friends serving missions. I opened the mailbox and I grabbed all the stuff out. As I sifted through the mail I recognized the big, white, thick, familiar envelope. My  heart jumped. As badly as I wanted to rip it open right then and there, a mixture of guilt and fear prevented me from doing so. I called everyone important to me and gave them the news!

I went back to my quiet desk at work. Finished out the day. Went home and struggled to occupy my mind. I remember updating my Facebook status to something like "this is 15768748794538974209003402305420 x worse than Christmas Eve." Finally, the hour had arrived. My family was there and on the phone. My friends were there and on Skype. My hands were shaky. Letter opener in hand, this was the moment. But I hesitated. A million thoughts were running through my mind. What if I don't get called where I want? What if I can't do it? Maybe I shouldn't even open it. Maybe I should just forget it. Where could I possibly be going?! Will people judge me?

I took a deep breath and ripped it open. The most intense fear of my life hit me. I jokingly read the header. Everyone laughed which eased the tension. As I read the words "Sister Jensen, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Florida, Tampa Mission. You will be teaching in the Spanish language." peace just washed over me. It was the kind that feels like you're safe, or you're home. I knew I had been called to go where I was needed.

Cliche, but true. I knew without a doubt that I was going where He wanted me. Where He needed me. And although I have my doubts and fears, they're washed away because I know with a surety, that as Mosiah writes: "I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

I'm one lucky girl. I know I'm blessed to be able to serve. As I knelt in prayer that night, I thanked Heavenly Father for that chance and I prayed for the people of Tampa to be prepared for me. As I prayed, I knew He'd been preparing me all along.